around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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