but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
