it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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