My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
