he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
