elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm passing your future prison.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Randomize
