haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize