I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
