I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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