I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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