I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize