Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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