I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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