Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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