you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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