God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We left the knife in your bed.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
