Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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