Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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