Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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