Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
