come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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