My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
