farters have to be the big spoon...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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