Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
