I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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