I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
