Got a toothbrush?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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