you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
