i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
