After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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