I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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