He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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