Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
