Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
