i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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