i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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