his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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