Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

dude she's married.

(1-269): View more from Michigan

so? a ring don't cover no holes.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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(205): View more from Alabama

my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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(406): View more from Montana

I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.

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