I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
