i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
