I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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