gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
