At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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