dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
