literally had 100 drinks last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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