i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
