OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
