Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
