Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
