so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
