now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize