How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
