Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
