I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
