love makes seman taste better
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I will be naked everywhere
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
